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| Home >> Index Pages >> Informational Pages >> Discount Computer Systems >> News >> Applicants of Scholarship 2008 >> |
Old People VS. ComputersDirectron Scholarship 2008 Essay No. 29by Elisabeth Holmes Intended School: Washington State University Intended Major: Elementary education with an endorsement in Teaching English as a Second Language How do you teach an elderly person how to work a computer?: Teaching an old person how to use a computer is the world's most difficult task. The arrogance of youth clashes with the pride of the venerable, making all communication impossible. The venerable woman haughtily tells the arrogant youth that she used to be able to type sixty words per minute... on a typewriter and could shorthand a letter as fast as her boss could dictate. The arrogant youth looks blankly at the deluded old woman and tells her put her pickup the mouse. Once the youth persuades the woman to climb off the chair and explains the difference between a computer mouse and the actual creature, the lesson proceeds. After a brief explanation of DOS vs. HTML, word processing programs vs. data processing programs, and all the ins and outs of ROM, the elderly lady is comatose and the arrogant youth is in his element. What is the obsession old women have about "Forwards?" Grandmother is up and running on a computer, the World Wide Web is at her fingertips, and what does she do? She sets up an email account, ecstatically reading and rereading all the email forwards that trickle into her inbox. Soon the trickle is a gushing river, and Grandma's inbox becomes the grand central station for sorting and redistributing forwards to her children, grandchildren, friends, pastor and even a couple of strangers she met in line at the grocery store. She seems to believe that since her son George is a very important CEO with serious business matters on his mind, a forward of a laughing cat is exactly what he would want to read. And because Pastor Larry innocently mentioned that laughter is the best medicine the twelve page email of dumb things church bulletins say would be a winner with him. Grandma has the most sincere intentions as she spreads the joy of forwards, and no one ever tells her that they have blocked her email address. Why do old people triple click everything? One tap and Internet Explorer opens, one click and MS Word opens, one touch and the start menu pops open, one is the magic number. Any person over fifty, however, insists upon triple clicking everything: triple click this icon, quadruple click that one, millions of programs and pages clog their screen. They explain that they didn't hit it the first time or that it wasn't going fast enough or that there is a magic spot, right in the middle of an icon or button that must be hit precisely before the icon will open. When examining their mouse button, a deep dent in the left button will be observed. Older people do not merely click the button; they gouge and rend it, believing that if they don't hit it hard enough it will not work. It's probably statistically proven that the most often replaced piece of an elderly person's computer is the mouse. What's up with old people on social networks? "Yo, what is up?! Laugh out Loud." "I was just instantly IMing last night." "I just blogged my sermon today... check it out!" Mid-life crisis's used to consist of harmless things like getting a bright red sports car, buying a toupee and wearing Foster Grants any day of the year. In the twenty-first century, a mid-life crisis has morphed into dads setting up pages on social networks and trying their hand at IM. This makes for a lot of humorous moments as they try to decipher the language of chatting. ROFL becomes throwing up (presumably derived from "rolphing") BTW will always be a car no matter how many times it's explained, and IMHO is just undecipherable. But even so, adding a parent as a friend on Facebook seems to throw a bucket of cold water on any flirtatious, goofy or strange conversations friends want to have. Don't parents realize that they aren't young and matter how many applications they add to their page, they will never hide the fact that they were born in 1942 ... or was that 1842? References: | Directron.com College Scholarship | |
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