Computer Collection of Essays from Scholarship 2006 Zaphod Beeblebrox Michael Liu-Best Computer Online Store Houston Buy Discount Prices Texas-Directron.com

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Directron.com College Scholarship entry
- By Zaphod Beeblebrox

3111 56^th Ave Unit 206
Kenosha, WI 53144
262-657-7421
zippyzap@gmail.com

I am currently enrolled at the University of Wisconsin, Parkside in the Master of Science, Computer and Information Systems program. I am in the first year of the program.

My history with computers begins sometime in the 1980s, sporadically attempting to use (and not always succeeding) various computers such as various Apple II models, various Commodores, a TRS-80 and other now antiquated beasts. My most extensive use was in 1989, when my sister was studying abroad and let me use her Macintosh SE for a few months.

In 1990 I received my first computer. I decided on an IBM PC clone, a 386DX25 with 4MB RAM, 65MB RLL hard drive and an ISA VGA card. I used my computer as much as possible and even started poking around inside the tower. In college (undergraduate at the University of California, San Diego) I was known among friends as the computer expert.

After college, I started working for a small computer repair shop in Brawley, California, eventually investing money into it to become a partner. For around 10 years I worked during the days and played computer games during the nights. I hosted my first LAN party in 1995 and by the following year it became a weekly event, which continued until last year.

Last year I got married, the store was sold (the partners were looking to move also) and moved to Wisconsin. Once I found out that there was a university within a 5 minute drive from home that offered a computer science masters degree, I applied, took the pre-requisite classes and got accepted. I expect to receive my degree in around 2-3 years depending on how high a class load I take.

In the meantime I've discovered various LAN groups in this area and now am back to weekly LAN parties, though now I get to enjoy them as an attendee instead of the organizer.

My essay is a short story "fanfic," an homage to some favorite games from my early weekly LAN party days. The main characters are Duke Nukem and Lo Wang, from the 3DRealms games Duke Nukem 3D and Shadow Warrior. Fans of those games may recognize some of the vernacular that those characters were known for. As a bonus, a character almost, but doesn't quite, makes a cameo appearance. That character was from a TC (total conversion) for Shadow Warrior that to my knowledge was never released. Enjoy.

Two Wangs are better than one

It was a typical, crisp and smoggy Los Angeles evening.

"How's it hangin', Wang?"

"Konichiwa, Duke-san. What is hangin'? Everything about me is hard."

Duke laughed. "Nevermind, let's just get going. So many babes, so little time, ya know. Hey, by the way, how's your sister No Wang doing these days?"

"I don' know. I not hear from her for many years." Wang looked a bit sad.

"Cheer up, Wang. Why don't we go to this bar over there and have a couple of drinks?"

Duke and Lo Wang entered the bar. "Oh, I see it that type of bar," said Wang, and calls out, "Whoooo want'a some Wang?"

"Come get some!" Duke walked up to a girl, pulled out some cash and said, "Shake it, baby!"

***

Hours later, the duo staggered down the street, arm in arm and singing bawdy songs. Suddenly, dark shadows disengaged themselves from behind cars and doorways. Duke looked behind him to see that they were surrounded. "Must be your pals, Wang. I sent those aliens packing years ago."

"Ahhh, must be Zilla's men� those snake cowards!" With that, Wang staggered forward. "Time to use Drunken Fist move. Come fight me!"

"Zilla sends his regards," said the first dark figure as he stepped forward. Duke also stepped forward, to stand next to Wang. "I � I thought there was only one of you?" the dark figure stammered.

"Two Wangs are better than one!" Lo Wang shouted, and the two went to work on the ninja assassins, Wang with his hands and Duke with his feet.

Thirty seconds later, two figures continued their ambling walk, arm in arm, singing bawdy songs. Behind them were dark heaps on the ground, and one hiding in a dark doorway.

***

Duke woke up to bright light, a throbbing headache and the sound of something going "snap-snap." He sat up and saw Wang sitting cross-legged across the room holding a pair of chopsticks, trying to catch a fly. "Damn, my head hurts," said Duke.

"Pain is for the weak," said Wang, as he methodically moved his arm following the fly.

Duke got up and went to the bathroom. "Ahhh, much better. Hey Wang, what's for� " he looked at his watch, "lunch? C'mon, get up. Don't have time to play with myself. Let's go!"

Suddenly they heard a creak from above them. With no further comment the two sprang to action. Duke headed up the stairs while Wang went out the back. A shape broke through an upstairs window and Wang intercepted it on the way down with an uppercut. "You blocking with your head again!" he shouted.

Duke jumped down to join him. "Damn, you're ugly," he said to the man moaning in pain on the ground. "You better start talking or else you're gonna get uglier real quick."

"Zilla sends his�" *BLAM*

Duke pulls back his booted foot and said, "We've heard that one before. Tell us something we don't know."

The man spilled his guts, figuratively, telling the duo that he was sent to spy on them because Zilla wanted them both out of the way before some important plans came to fruition. Zilla was headquartered at a nearby warehouse and had already dispatched another elite ninja team to home in on the spy's radio signal. Wang then spilled the spy's guts, literally. "Sword, it's a personal weapon," he quipped. "While ninja play in empty house, we pay Zilla visit."

The two went in to grab some weapons and then headed out.

***

"It should be that one, with the huge radar dish on it. I wonder why they need that?" Duke looked puzzed for a moment, but then shrugged. "Oh well, let's go." They came up to the warehouse and looked into one of the open loading dock doors. Men were gathered around some electronic gear in the center of the warehouse, with some large cables leading up to the roof area where the satellite dish was located. Duke pulled out his trusty chaingun and Wang produced a Ripper head, and they walked in.

"Hey, what are you two doing here? You should be dead�" the mans words ended in a gurgle as two shurikens took him in the throat.

Duke took a few steps forward into the stunned silence and said, "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta gum." With that, he let fly a hail of bullets.

Next to him, Lo Wang brought forth a blast of fireballs from the Ripper head, and sang out, "Burn baby burn, flames are getting' HIGHER!"

***

As the last flames died down, the sound of a helicopter was audible over the crackling. Duke and Wang ran outside to see it fly away over the city. Suddenly Duke heard a sound behind him that brought chills down his back. "No, it can't be," he whispered as he turned around. Sure enough, there was an octobrain floating inside the warehouse near the electronic equipment.

"What are you, some sort of bottom feeding scum sucking algae eater? Die, you son of a bitch!" Duke whipped out his rocket launcher and blasts the alien creature, only to see more appear through a portal that the equipment was generating.

Lo Wang runs forward throwing objects towards the octobrains. "Sticky bomb liking you. Look, you have a new friend."

The aliens kept pouring through the portal, and soon the duo was running out of ammunition. Duke looked over to Wang and said, "Nukem �till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark."

Lo Wang pulls out his trusty rocket launcher and pressed a special button on it. When the countdown finished, he said, "It is a good day to die," and pulled the trigger. The world turned white for a moment, then as reality reasserted itself, Wang sits up and said, "Just like Hiroshima."

Duke dusted himself off as he got off the ground, and went forward to look at the destruction. A piece of radar dish was on the ground near his feet. He studied it for a moment, and said, "I guess I'll be fighting aliens from now until forever."

Customer Feedback through Yahoo!
	Join our Newsletter

Shipping Policy	Customer Services	Payment Policy
Est. Shipping Cost Time-in-Transit Map FAQ - Shipping Top Reasons for Delays UPS, FedEx, Postal Office Walk-in Sales APO/FPO Shipping International Tracking Orders	Return Rates Store Statistics Customer Satisfaction Account Applications Frequent Errors FAQ-Services FAQ-Tech Support Newsletter Order Status	Credit Card via Phone Purchase Order Prepay, PayPal Resellers Corporate Schools, Government Terms & Conditions Price & Tax FAQ-Payment
Top Brands
Abit, Acer, AMD, Antec, AOpen, Asus, ATI, Biostar, Buffalo, Cooler Master, Corsair, Creative, Dell, D-Link, Enermax, FSP, Gigabyte, Hauppauge, HP, Intel, InWin, Kingston, Lenovo, Lian-Li, Linksys, Lite-On, Logisys, Logitech, Maxtor, Microsoft, MSI, Mushkin, Netgear, OCZ, Seagate, Shuttle, Sony, SuperMicro, ThermalTake, Vantec, ViewSonic, Western Digital, XFX, Zalman.

Have a question about our products, services or technical issues?
Find the answer instantly! Type your question or key words in English: 95% email/ phone questions already have answers on our web site.
Please check the answer online before calling or e-mailing.

Copyright (c) 1997-2009 Directron.com, Inc., Houston, Texas
Buy - Sell - Trade - Build - Repair - Upgrade - Help - Troubleshoot - Shopping
Computers - Laptops - Servers - Hardware - Parts - Software - Peripherals - Services
High Quality - Low Prices - Discount Shop - Large Selection - Free Products - Fast Shipping
Affiliates: Dallas Computer Store - San Antonio Computer Store - K12 Education Computer Systems

My Cart

Tracking

Order Status